The purge

I just got rid of all of my books about information architecture, systems librarianship, web design and usability, and jump-starting my library career. I feel so much…lighter.

I kept the indexing books. I’m not sure why, though I think indexing would provide a brainy component to my life that I’m currently lacking. Never say never? I’ll get some use out of that degree yet? Hard to say.

But all of that attempting to find a permanent job, contracting, then finding one that wouldn’t cover the expenses of having an infant in San Francisco and the attending emotions of anxiety and doubt and sorrow and some hope followed by more doubt and confusion (and rage, let’s not forget that one)- that’s going away with the books I’ve just consigned to Goodwill. I’ve kept the things that keep me curious. And no more.

Comments

[anise]

My box(es) of books are stacked up in the garage, waiting for me to have the gumption to toss 'em. Very soon now, as I trip over them daily on my way out. No, really. This time I mean it.

[joy]

I'm with anise--my books from grad school are lining my garage wall, waiting for the day i get through the hiking gear, skiing gear, travel gear...to get to them!
When we moved here, I purged all my notes and papers from writing my dissertation--that was a big one! A friend of mine who was moving to Kentucky had done it, and when I asked her about it, she said, "Joy, I know I achieved that. Why do I need to have all the papers--to remind me of what I did?" Unfortunately, I tossed my drafts, etc, and in the mix managed to toss the only copy i had of my dissertation!! I had to buy one!!

I once read an article about a 77 year old woman who had just climbed Mount Everest. She had many achievements behind her at the time, and the reporter was asking her the usual questions of "why." Her response (it's been several years, so this is a paraphrase): "I do not want to be known by an achievement I had 10 years earlier in my life." I thought about all the people I knew in academia, and how they were grinding along publishing basically the same thing, over and over again. I never wanted to be that person--I wanted to be consciously alive and growing. And I am.

So you have merely made room for the achievements you are making now, and the ones you will make in the future. The are the Sarah who has climbed that mountain, and is on to the next challenge, taking with her the knowledge, courage, and strength that climbing that mountain gave her!
love
joy

[Sarah]

Oh, this is where I get embarrassed. These were not grad school books, but information management books I bought after finishing my MLIS, as my career took ever odder paths toward its current state. Sadly, they only made up about half of a box, and I'm packing boxes 17-22 right now.... Maybe Patrick's ready to give up his queer theory tomes from undergrad.

The obvious lesson here is that librarians and writers should not, perhaps, form families, unless they have an assertive collection development policy.