Screw the goat rodeo, I'm making cabrito

Seamus almost went to school half-naked this morning. I don’t mean in his underpants either, but full-out half naked, as he’d thrown his underpants across the room. He knows how to dress himself, and in fact had been asked several times to dress himself while I made breakfast (smoothies and whole-grain toast with hummus or nut butter, which has improved his mood remarkably over his Trader Joe’s Os, presumably by increasing his fiber and protein intake), but got interrupted several times to “help him”. I reminded him several times that he knew how to dress himself, that I needed to get ready to take him to school, and went back to the kitchen. This was getting irritating - getting him dressed is something I don’t want to do. I know he can dress himself, and he doesn’t have an excuse for not doing it. Patrick dresses him still, but it’s not a fight I’ve been wanting to have. Patrick also endlessly negotiates with him, and it makes my life difficult in a thousand ways.

I finally make breakfast, walk to his room, and he’s locked the door. Which means he knows what he’s doing is unacceptable. I walk around through our room and the bathroom, open the door, and find his clothes flung everywhere, and Seamus hiding in the closet. So now he gets yelled at, clothes thrust in his direction angrily, and late late late I get him to the table, and skip breakfast myself so I can get my own clothes on. All the while he continues to yell out for a sippy cup instead of an open cup, that he’s spilled and I need to clean it (another skill he can actually do), and just general regression of behaviors. I manage to get dressed and my various bronchitis meds in me (I’ve been sick for almost three weeks now) and get him in the car. When I sign him in, we’re twenty minutes late. Not a big deal this year, but worrisome for next year. If we go public, that’s an 8:20 start time. Montessori, an 8:30. And it’s school school, not this play-based, project-oriented pre-K program. 

If it weren’t a school day, I could have waited him out while I did dishes and laundry and fed myself (and because I’m constantly thinking six months out, the baby too), and gotten the at home things done while he ran through his dickery. But getting him anywhere in the mornings is so damn hard. Patrick is always, always much later than I was today. And if it weren’t for the damn morning bell lurking eight months ahead, plus the fact that he hasn’t stopped slamming against boundaries since he started walking, I’d sweat this a lot less. I’d yell less and feel less stressed about either being a shitty parent because of the yelling, or a shitty parent because my kid is constantly late.

For those of you wanting to tell me that he’ll change at five, I tell you now that the only difference between three and four is that I used to have to be two steps ahead of Seamus in order for the day to not involve yelling, and now I have to be five.  The only thing that changes as he gets older is that really basic things keep getting harder as he keeps struggling against them. So fuck off. The only thing that works is to give him no feedback whatsoever, and to wait him out. Which doesn’t work so well when you have to urge a kid through the morning three times a week.

So I’ve made up my mind. Barring some very significant sea change, it’s a gap year at home.

The Kindergarten hunt, part four: transitional Kindergarten?

We had a playdate with two of Shay’s preschool buddies last week. One of the moms teaches third grade in another district, and while we chatted I mentioned the possibility of letting Seamus do a “gap year”. She p’shawed a second, then asked me when his birthday was. I told her (two weeks from the cut-off, which makes him a very young five) and she smiled and said, “hmm, yeah, I can see doing that”. Then she told me that her district is taking part in the transitional kindergarten program passed by the state last year.

The Kindergarten Readiness Act of 2010 set a statewide minimum age for Kindergarten but also created a new grade for kids whose birthdays come a few omnths after the cut-off. Implementation doesn’t appear to be mandatory, and our local district has no mention of it on its website, so I’m guessing it’s not rolling out here. I still need to read the notes of last Fall’s Board of Ed meetings to confirm that, though. Ah well.

I began outlining a slow curriculum for us to follow at home. Right now we’ll review some of the stuff we did over the fall, add a few new things, and continue complementing and expanding what he’s getting at preschool. I’m still thinking of pulling him out after his Pre-K graduation in part to avoid the boredom factor, and we’ll adjust as needed then.

The Kindergarten hunt, part three: goat rodeo*

Wednesday night I applied online for the local charter school. It’s K-12 and emphasizes leadership, self-governance and community awareness, but there isn’t a ton of detail available on the website. All I know is that it feels a little Sudbury-ish, and that I’ve overheard parents talking about not giving up their places on the waitlist even after their kids are enrolled elsewhere. The online application form was open, so I went for it. I’ll attend the info night next month and try to get into a tour. I don’t think it’s really a Sudbury school, as I don’t think that model is particularly compatible with the requirements a charter school may have within a district, but it may have a democratic education model, which intrigues.

I also requested an information packet from the other K-6 Montessori. Based on the website info, this school has an academic emphasis for the older primary classes, and mentions both testing and homework. We’ll see what the packet has to tell us. They appear to prefer children who have a Montessori preschool background, so there may be some meeting with the teachers to determine if he’ll fit. There IS a two-week probationary period for the child. So based on what I’ve read, this may be the most straight-laced option.

District information nights are next month. Will have to secure one parent at home, which will be similar to directing air traffic, as it will be mid-evening, mid-week, and mid-winter, when the traffic can be most fractious.

Seamus and I are taking a break from Starfall for reading, as he wants to move through all the stories, but starts having trouble focusing after a while on reading words like “hit”. He’s also resisting reading words on a page, but has agreed to using flashcards. So I’m making those, and we went through our first batch this morning while he stood danced at the table. This worked better than sitting in the reading nook under his bunk, so I think we’ll keep our “school” at the kitchen table until the dining room is finished and ready for its conversion to our library/arts and crafts/family room. 

After weeks of bringing home unmarked writing worksheets (and me thinking he wasn’t ready to learn to write), he wrote his name on some art yesterday, then practiced writing it for half an hour completely on his own. I figure if all else fails, we’ll teach him to play pool so he’ll always have an income.

*”Goat rodeo” is an aviation term indicating a situation in which multiple things need to happen correctly if one is to survive it. It is now my new favorite term to describe this school thing.

The Kindergarten hunt, part two

Our local parochial school is holding a Kindergarten information night tonight. Since we talked a bit about pursuing parochial as an option (say what you like, but the good ones are pretty damn good academically), I browsed through the school and parish websites. While I’d like to find and read a layman’s description of “faith-based education”, we’ve decided not to pursue this option. While I’m an infidel atheist and Patrick’s a lasped heretic Episcopalian, our decision stemmed from our knowledge of Shay’s temperament.

Do we really want to spend dinnertime arguing with him that no, I did not in fact some from Daddy’s rib, to offer a potential Kindergarten-level debate (and the child loves to debate once he’s decided he’s right)? Would we like to see that escalate into views opposite out own regarding science, politics, and social justice? Patrick and I looked at each other, sketched out the potential worst case scenario, and decided it just wasn’t worth it.

Next up: calling the other Montessori school with a K-6 program for an information packet, getting my feet wet with both the public school and the charter school, and joining the local home education listserv.

The Kindergarten hunt, part one of... (holds head in hands)

So as some of you might recall, Patrick and I are exploring options for next year that are outside of the public school system. Today I toured a private Montessori school that several of our parent friends used for preschool that is now expanding into a preschool-fifth grade program spread among three campuses. There is a wait list, but but they are opening three classes next year, so fingers crossed.

The campus I toured houses Pre-K through primary students, ages three and a half to seven, and the curriculum… is wonderful. It covers damn near everything I want to cover with my kids in terms of academic subjects The social studies they cover includes geography, and focuses not just on other cultures in a broad sense, but on the community as well. They have science. The summer camps include a “space camp” with in-house visitors from NASA. There is a library staffed by parent volunteers. 

To have Seamus attend five days a week would cost us about a thousand dollars a year more than our current preschool, but would not include summers or lunches. Mostly I just listened to C, the director, and enjoyed the classroom and the kids working quietly because they were focused, not shushed. Patrick and I like how Montessori brings with it the ability to channel one’s energy into an activity, we like that kids are grouped by ability before age, and the emphasis of teaching self-care and care for one’s environment. 

So it begins.